Saturday, May 02, 2009

Mangy ends rescued from who knows where

Yesterday as I sat down to eat a piece of pizza for lunch, I realized that my current spot in the shade was too cold and decided to move into the sun. I walked to a sunny table and plopped my pizza down, then turned to retrieve my bag and head back over to the sunny spot. In total, this process took approximately seven seconds, which was apparently just enough time for an enormous and hideous seagull (picture a grotesque bird at least the size of Sprout) to swoop down and alight on my table. Without hesitation, it plucked up the entire piece of pizza, whole. It flew a few feet away, and then dropped it to take smaller bites. Then, with the most horrifying neck-gulping, slurping gesture, it pulled all of the cheese off of the pizza's surface, like a great, slimy rubber grease sheet, and devoured it in one gulp. I wouldn't say that I'm easily grossed out, but I seriously wondered if I'd ever be able to eat pizza again.*

*Friday late night update: today I ate pizza and it worked out just fine. No seagulls in sight this time.


JHS said...


Noodles said...

Bahgawk indeed! I had an experience in which I was afraid of a flock of seagulls (birds, not the 80s band) in SLC, Utah. Evidently they like pizza too. I had just gotten some at The Pie and they thought they were entitled to some too. I finished my lunch in the car.

Emilie said...

ah ha ha.