Saturday, February 02, 2008

The Tax, the String, the Shell Fragment, November

This morning I woke up and had to run to the bathroom about four times to cough up something that looks strikingly similar to the substance that the ninja turtles got into that made them mutate. What was that stuff called? Mutogen? Earlier this week, I tried an instant macaroni and cheese cup. The label says before you microwave it, there should be a white power on everything, which is necessary to make the cheese sauce. So even though the powder looks suspicious, do not be alarmed. After microwaving on high for three minutes and stirring vigorously, sure enough, the powder turned into something else. Some synthetic slime that had both cheese and bacon flavoring added in. It was disgusting, but I'd already spent my dollar. In the yard, Gilbert the Gardener (he gets quite a kick of the alliteration) was snipping at the tree branches and humming to himself. Even before I got the opportunity to demonstrate that I was sick, he volunteered--seemingly out of the blue--the fact that he never gets sick. He attributes this miracle to the fact that he works outside and eats lots of bananas and never takes asprin for anything. He tells me that the oranges on our tree are delicious. He grabs the picker and pulls four of them down for me. At midday, I slogged to the coffee shop, where I drank some lemon/root/gross fusion herbal tea that had an after taste like band aid. I often end up ingesting things that leave a band aid taste in my mouth. The coffee shop is bustling with cyclists in their spandex. And at the table next to me is a group of old people, one woman with a foot-tall stack of ayurvedic cookbooks. I secretly wonder whether she might be able to cure me. But I'm too embarrassed to talk to her and maybe get myself into a situation where I have to admit to eating the microwave macaroni and cheese. So I pack up my books and hack on home.

1 comment:

emilie said...

i love reading you meredith. yummy. i miss you and will try to call just a bit later - it is 9am chez toi, too early do you think?