Tuesday, March 14, 2006

OUTSIDE THE CLOUDS ARE MOVING AT A SURPRISING CLIP

This evening E. Miller (#2) and I spotted the new tab energy drink, which is marketed toward women because 1) it's pink, and women love pink, and 2) it has no calories, and women love being skinny. In the store, it was warm, so we hid a can behind some frozen giblets in a freezer case (figuring correctly that nobody would buy the giblets in the interim) and came back for the chilled beverage when we were done shopping. This new pink concoction, like all energy drinks, tastes like what one would imagine battery acid to taste like, and begins eating away at one's stomach lining almost immediately. Unlike other energy drinks with difficult to pinpoint flavors, this one was roughly watermelon-y in taste, though certainly not watermelon-y enough to be marketed as watermelon flavored, hence positioning the product as "pink" for the urban woman who needs energy rather than having to liken the taste of the drink to anything remotely natural. As expected, a cursory inspection of the ingredient list found a number of unpronouncable and indecipherable substances, which is always a good sign for something designed to keep you up all night.

2 comments:

Katie said...

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

Get back to LiveJournal.

sean_garmire said...

Do you mean my E.Miller? Boy oh boy I sure hope you do.