Wednesday, September 07, 2005

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THAT LOVE LETTER YOU PLANNED ON SENDING?

Dear ___,

I wrote you a love note on a square piece of coarse yellow paper. Although I hate to admit it, preferring to be seen as a naturally poetic and articulate writer of such notes, I actually went to great lengths to compose it, swapping out synonyms like crazy, varying sentence lengths and syntax, and generally making it flow with the ease with which love notes are supposed to flow. Next came the question of method of delivery. I folded the paper in fourths and then tied it to a brick with a piece of twine, my noble intention being to hurl it through your window from a moving car at midnight in the style of the 1930s gangsters. You seem like you'd appreciate a gesture like that. Alas, I lost my nerve, or rather, I never got any nerve. It doesn't take too many guts to compose a letter and tie it to a brick, but the actual process of chucking it is much trickier, as your heart inevitably flies right after the brick. Instead, I put the brick on my living room floor, deliberated about the whole affair, then repeated the process, composing another letter--this second one unique but equally careful and sincere--then tied it to a brick. Luckily, there is a construction site very near my home, where I discovered a rather sizeable pile of apparently unwanted bricks. If I keep this up, eventually I will have enough bricks with notes attached to them that I can simply wall myself in, thus insulating my person from the potential heartbreak of expressing my true feelings. For me, it would be the pain of rejection. For you, it would be the nuisance of a broken front window.

1 comment:

Katiett said...

I don't know how I'm supposed to comment after this ridiculous bit about teeth-whitening.