Tuesday, July 12, 2005


The scene is set yesterday evening. Noodles and I were waiting in line at one of those discount stores—you know, brand names marked down to reasonable prices—and the couple in front of us was hard at work justifying their decision to purchase a mattress pad there, saying “sure, we didn’t get it at Bed Bath and Beyond but we’ll always put sheets over it so it’ll never touch our skin.” Weird. Now, when you’re in line at one of these discount stores, you can’t help but be in close proximity to people and overhear them. Upon recognizing the banality of this couple’s conversation, I immediately—and, I might add, instinctively—began making a very loud and obtrusive snoring sound. The lady turned to me and glowered like she was never going to have a chance to glower again.

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